Foreground

Reflecting on a Week Without Technology - Brian Sanders

A few weeks ago, I sensed God was leading me to fast from technology. To take a time warp back to 1980. I wasn’t sure why, but I have learned to just obey these kinds of leadings even if I don’t know the exact purpose. That meant no television, internet, computer, phone, mp3 player - or anything like that - for a week. I tried to not even be in the presence of people using these things (that was tough). I picked up a small notepad for my back pocket, dusted off my actual bible, set up my schedule with Kathryn ahead of time, and even asked people who met with me during the course of the week to not use their phones or computers while they were with me. It was a wonderful learning experience. 

Here are a few of the things I discovered:

1. Technology may be a better fast for the modern heart than food. I can go half a day without eating on a usual day and not even notice. Part of the grace of fasting is the constant reminder of your need for God. Fasting from food has a diminished place in modern life as for better or worse we rush our meals and in general don’t think much about them. Our relationship with technology - and the communication networks they open up - is much more constant. Not having my phone in my hand, on my desk, or in my pocket was a constant reminder that something was missing. If the purpose of fasting is to help us to pray, then this was the best fast I have had in years. Every time I reached for my phone to make a note, check a task, communicate or just pass the time, I was reminded of my desire for God instead. God was present in every moment of broken dependence. 

2. Ironically, eating (as well as a dozen other traditional social interactions) became more sacred to me. Not having an ever-present, intangible, looming potential interaction waiting in every moment made me more present to the people I was with. I felt less frenetic and more alert; as if I was actually free to give my whole self to the person sitting in front of me. Even when I was alone while driving, eating lunch, or working on something, I felt strangely focused. It’s like I live with this multi-tasking mind, always working on four or five things at once, and all of the sudden I was allowed to just do the one thing in front of me. I especially felt that while driving. I have never realized how much I try to accomplish while I am moving from one place to another. During this week, all I could do was drive. It was the getting from one place to the other that was my only task. I don’t know how to describe it except to say it was calming. Like some unnamed pressure to seize and demand production from every moment was temporarily lifted. 

3. I was worse as a producer, but better as a person. In the half hour leading up to our house church, I was just sitting on the couch in our living room, unable to redeem those minutes for some other task and unsure what to do with myself. Seeing I was free, my two youngest boys pulled me in to a game of Yahtzee. When everyone began to arrive we were deep into the game, having a great time, all of my attention on my two boys. One of the men in my house church would comment in the week following the fast that he had never seen me “just being daddy” like he did that week. He actually mentioned how he always sees me “focused” and “on task” but had never seen me like that, relaxed enough to just play a game with my kids. He was touched by it, but I was (and continue to be) challenged by that statement. I think I was better to the people I was with in part because I simply wasn’t able to get as much done. I was less efficient and had to make peace with that - and the not so remarkable revelation is that the world went on just fine without my hyper-productive behavior.

4. I didn’t actually miss it. I really thought there was going to be some kind of psychological withdrawal. Monica kept asking me if I was missing it all, but I really didn’t. I thought I would struggle with wanting to send a text, to check my email, to watch a movie or just use the internet. I just didn’t. I think I realized that these things are at their best when they serve our lives, our purpose, and our greater desire to serve God and love each other − but they are not ends in themselves. I like something like texting or Twitter because I can know what is going on in people’s lives, but it is the lives these tools point to that have actual value, not the virtual world we access to get to them. It is the people and the reality of my friendship with them that makes reading their thoughts meaningful. These things can never replace actual relationships, but they can augment them. Taking these tools away didn’t diminish me at all. I didn’t actually lose anything of real value. Still, the tools themselves have value inasmuch as they help me to know, and love, and lead the people that make my life precious. 

In all, I felt refreshed by the experience and I would recommend it, even if just for a day. I find myself a little closer to Jesus and a little less bound to my technology; a little freer to use it to get me closer to people and not let it dictate the pace and priorities of life to me. Sometimes the only way to make sure that something isn’t in control is to release it completely. 

Addiction or Compulsion - George Wood

I have been in the addiction field for the past 10 years. I know the destruction that is caused by addiction. I also know that there is hope; freedom does exist for those bold enough to try to change, humble enough to allow others in to help, and courageous enough to face the truth. Addiction is a broad term, which is used to describe an entire process by which people become dependent on a particular substance or behavior in order to cope with life. This dependence becomes so important to the individual that he/she will persist in using the substance, or engaging in the behavior even when it is harmful to his or her self, family, and other important areas of life. In addiction the substance or action becomes more important than everything else, if an attempt to stop is made the person may actually have physical or psychological consequences (i.e. anger, anxiety, irritability, even the shakes). In contrast, compulsion is a quite narrow term used to describe the intense urge to do something. Compulsions are a small but important part of the addictive process. Another definition of Compulsion is a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, especially one that is irrational or contrary to one's will.

The differences may seem small in definition, in fact generally speaking both are harmful, devastating and even deadly, but if we want freedom the way we go about finding it does differ greatly.

A compulsion is an action that is in route to the addiction, and when in addiction it exists as one of the signs. A person suffering from compulsion can typically stop the behavior with proper guidance, accountability, protective barriers and a sincere desire to stop. In order to remain free, they would need to be diligent in keeping the safeguards but typically can find a high level of success with these measures.

Addiction on the other hand is compulsion fully grown and is no longer something that can be walked away from easily. In order to get through addiction a whole new thought process has to be implemented. It is one that takes courage, total honesty and heart to find freedom. Typically in addiction, it is necessary to identify with where the problem originates and rebuilding all of the behaviors that stem from that point.

If you are someone who has struggled with pornography or any other behaviors that you find yourself doing against your will then you likely have a compulsion or potentially an addiction.

Questions to ask your self to find out if you are addicted to porn:

Have you honestly tried to stop? Do you put up safeguards and then find yourself going around them? When you stop does your personality change, do you become difficult? When questioned about the behavior do you find yourself lying about it and then justifying the lies?

If you feel that you may fit into the addiction category please feel free to contact me. It will be confidential and hopefully I can answer your questions and begin the process of finding freedom.

Picking a Fight with Pornography - Brian Sanders

Sometimes I wonder what I would do if someone broke into my house. It’s a scenario that is not altogether absurd, given the neighborhood I live in. Assuming the worst (and that there was some way of identifying undeniably violent intent), I wonder if I would be up for it. I don't think about details, just the general idea. Would I face a violent threat to my children or my wife with courage, fortitude and conviction? Would that intruder regret having chosen my house and family to victimize? I hope so. I hope that when faced with certain evil and a simple equation of right and wrong that I would not shrink back from doing what was necessary; not so much to harm the person threatening harm but to protect the vulnerable from it. I hope that I would use the full force of my body and will to remove that danger from my home and preserve the lives of my kids.

I am coming to feel like the threat of pornography to our kids, our marriages and our own souls feels like just such a certain evil. I have never been much of a moral crusader. I tend to be more of an ideologue, wanting to win hearts and minds for the higher principles of life and surrender to Jesus. I believe that ultimately He will see to the details of discipleship in each of his followers. I fear that too often we reduce our life with God to a list of rules or behaviors, degrading the gospel to law and not a relationship or a way of life.

But maybe in every culture there are one or two beachheads or strongholds that resist principle or intentionality. Places where the enemy is too entrenched and clear thinking doesn't seem to reach-- Where the cultural noise is just too loud to hear the whispering Holy Spirit shouting for holiness. Isn't this just such a case?

What has been relegated to counselors offices and (at best) small accountability meetings may need to be brought into the light of day and be addressed as a communal problem. Sunday, the letter we read to the church at Pergamum lead me down this conceptual road. I feel compelled to call us to a higher standard. I am asking that we elevate the dialogue on the issue to our living rooms and leadership team meetings. I am calling on our elders, directors and micro church leaders to know how our people are doing in this area and to not shrink back from the evil that has broken into our houses.

I am trying to stand up to an intruder that does not belong in our homes and that threatens our spiritual lives. I am not trying to take on the industry or even the will in the wayward heart to consume it, but rather its place in our community. I am standing up to the part of it that has pushed its way into our homes. I want to see it put out. I am not ready to go on a crusade or even alter my philosophy of ministry, I am merely asking for us to live what we say and to take holiness in ourselves and the lives of those we love more seriously.

I made some practical suggestions Sunday and I want to help those of you who are ready to take that challenge. It can be broken down into three categories.

If you need help with repentance, I would suggest two things. Pray through each line of Psalm 51, and then find a person to confess your indiscretions to. Please choose someone who is appropriate, a good friend, parent, or spouse, not an acquaintance or a friend of the opposite gender.

Next put into place some serious safeguards. Jesus said, if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. This calls for radical response to the damage that sin can do. In other words, give up something small to stop a great evil in your life. We have compiled some software resources and practical steps for you.

Finally, if you think that might not be enough, and if you are worried that this struggle has progressed to the point of addiction and therefore you need extra help, please read this companion article.

Remember, our sin is not greater than the God who has called us and saved us. We are not defined by the things we have done wrong, but instead by the thing that Jesus has done to undo those wrongs and free us from them. The real work is realizing that we are created to be holy, and to live into that identity.

Remember the words of Ephesians 4, 

"You were taught... to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."

How Christians Should Celebrate Christmas - Brian Sanders

I was recently asked by a young woman, new to following Jesus, “How should Christians celebrate Christmas?” It is an interesting question to try and answer. There are a number of ways that Christians choose to celebrate Christmas, but sentimentality, nostalgia, and tradition usually serve as the reasoning behind them. Of course, there is nothing inherently wrong with tradition. Aside from the relapse of consumerism and materialism that most American Christians suffer about this time of year, I really don’t think there is anything wrong with trimming the tree, opening presents, candle light services, or any of our other usual Christmas practices - but do those things actually answer the question? That is what we do, but is it what we should do? Should Christmas consist of things that need to be accompanied by the defensive statement, “There is nothing wrong with…”? And shouldn’t our Christmas be somehow different than the Christmas of those who don’t even believe in the Jesus? If all our Christmas time traditions have no particular sacred quality are they sufficient?

Most of us will get together with extended family. That especially seems to be the quintessential Christmas practice. Who would argue with the statement, “Christmas is a time for families to be together”? But is that what it means to celebrate Christmas? Is that “what Christmas is all about?” It isn’t.

Christmas is essentially remembering. Like all birthdays, it is best celebrated with the actual person who was born on that day. Jesus cannot be an accessory to our celebrations, He must be their essence. Remembering is an internal discipline. It can be communal but it must first be personal, internal. Christmas then is really celebrated on the inside. It is celebration of the heart and a realization or remembrance of the stunning event that has forever changed us and the world. The sacred moments in the midst of all our buying and gathering, is when we find ourselves staring off into space, fixed on that inscrutable distance, remembering the impossible chasm that God, in Jesus, crossed to find us. That God, who is transcendent, invisible, and holy, became one of us. And he did it to show us how to be human, and to save us. Joy should be a part of Christmas, but not because of presents, food or family but because we realize that God came for us. While we were impossibly lost, alone and confused, Jesus entered our world, came looking for us and led us out. We have not actually celebrated Christmas until our hearts have exalted in worship.

Wherever, however, and whenever that happens, you can know that you have celebrated Christmas as all Christians should. It will most likely need to happen in a private moment on your front porch, or in the quiet of your bedroom before the sun comes up on Christmas morning. It will not need music or preaching, presents or family. It will happen because we let our minds lead our hearts to the day He came, and all that came to us because He did. It will happen because we find time to be with Jesus, who was not only born but also rose and who lives forever. Spending time with Him is how we celebrate Christmas.

Everything else is extra, possibly even a distraction.

The Race Problem - Brad Everett

On Sunday, November 18th, I had the privilege of speaking at the Underground's Crucible service. We looked at Mark 15:1-15. In this passage we uncovered 3 judgements of Jesus. Jesus was condemned by the religious leaders, Pilate and the crowd. Jesus was judged as being worthy of death by all three. Though Pilate says that He hasn't done anything wrong he does allow Jesus to be crucified making him just as culpable. In looking at these three judgements there were 3 key observations: The religious leaders were so wrapped up their pursuit of Jesus, they could not recognize their folly in their condemning him.

Pilate was too cowardly to truly stand up for what was right.

The crowds were the ones who killed Jesus and begged for his death.

The crowd is where we enter into the story. It is where we must enter the story. The key part to our salvation is to realize that Jesus died for us. Our sins are not just bad actions or wrong decisions, they are how we join the crowds in Mark 15 and call for the crucifixion of Jesus. We have to place ourselves in the crowd and realize that we screamed for the crucifixion of Jesus and, as loudly as we screamed, Jesus' silence screamed a merciful I LOVE YOU. We are the apathetic and the lustful and a whole lot of other things and Jesus is our salvation.

Now, one way I highlighted how we crucify Jesus is racism. More specifically I said that there is a race problem. I just wanted to follow up and maybe help some of us respond to the "issue of race" in a healthy way.

[ I will use the word oppressed through out the rest of this paper. It is not meant to be used as a literal term but instead as a historical symbol used to describe those who are less privileged(although in many covert ways there is still oppression). The same is true for the word oppressive which will be used as a historical symbol to describe the historically priveleged. ] When hearing about racism you are either identify with the oppressive culture or in the oppressed culture. One common reaction of someone who identifies with the oppressive culture (historically or presently) is to ignore, downplay, or debate whether or not it is a problem. This is a dodging of the core issue and is actually harmful to real growth in the area of race. In doing this you mimic Pilate, never truly investing, investigating or standing up for the oppressed. The proper response is to join them, listen to stories, invest in friendships, learn about issues, make mistakes, get embarrassed and in the end become better for it. Live a life where you are an actor in the fight. This is how the oppressive repent. They join the oppressed and fight. In doing so I believe they join Jesus.

On the other side of the race problem are those who would consider themselves the oppressed in the. We cannot become like the religious leaders, lest we lead Jesus to his death. Though we may receive ridicule and our dignity threatened, if we allow ourselves to be filled with pride and act in a "let's wait and see what the other side does" manner, we forsake our call to be like Jesus and we forget him. We cannot forget Him. He is our model to be free from oppression and, more than that, he is our model to free both the oppressed and oppressors. We are those who have to lead those who are oppressive to the feet of Jesus, carrying their insults and ignorance on our backs. This means telling our stories, investing in friendships, enduring ignorance and not allowing anything to be downplayed. This is how we join Jesus and scream a merciful I LOVE YOU into places of deep darkness.

In the InterVarsity and Underground community, I praise God for friends from both the oppressed and oppressive cultures who look at the race problem with open eyes and who fight with me. It is an inner fight as well as a systemic fight but these friends are always in the fight. This is what the Church is supposed to be. A place where every evil is warred against. A place where Jesus and his merciful love is our most effective weapon. I love Him! I love yall!

This article is republished with permission from bradfollowup.blogspot.com

How To Build Your Inner Life - Brian Sanders

This past week I was emotionally impacted by the internal life of Jesus. The fortitude he shows as he is mocked and shamed is yet another facet of his glorious person. Peeking through the window of Scripture at that kind of internal strength makes us imagine what our own lives might look like if we too could nurture the dignity that comes from hearing the voice of the Father above all others. I challenged us all to build our internal castle of character and intimacy with God.

Still, someone grabbed me in the parking lot and asked me, “But how do we do that?” I think that is an important question, and the answer is more complex than just prayer. The truth is, a strong inner life is built on three practices and if you neglect one you risk spiritual stagnation. The passing of time is not enough to build character or intimacy with God; it also takes intentional investment in these three areas. Think of these at three over lapping circles…

Theological Reflection: Each of these require reflection, but the most obvious way to build your inner life is through our reading and reflecting on scripture, prayer, and the quieting of our hearts to listen to the voice of God. It is not just the reading or praying but the internal and external application of what we read and hear. This is theological reflection, and this is the first way we build our inner life.

Self-Assessment: Reflecting on Scripture and the heart of God is a kind of outside-in journey. Self-assessment on the other hand is an inside-out journey. We can spend hours reading and reflecting on ideas that are outside ourselves but if we never take the time to understand who we are in relation to those concepts, we will not ultimately grow. This too is a kind of prayer, asking God questions like: Why do I react that way? How am I wrong in this situation? Why does that scare me so much? How can I take responsibility for this situation? Being able to make sense of our own motivations, impulses, and what makes us tick is a nonnegotiable piece of a strong inner life.

Relational Feedback: The final reflection that builds our inner life is the voices of those around us. Listening and humbly considering what those who know us say about us is actually vital to personal growth. Unlike Jesus, we are imperfect friends, spouses, coworkers and ministers. For that reason, we are ever dependent on good feedback from wise, loving and courageous friends who will tell us the truth about what they see in us. Both the good and the bad. Even our enemies can be a revealing source of valuable feedback about ourselves, we should never write them off completely but maintain humility even in the face of accusation and false report. The strong inner life is capable of considering even the feedback our detractors give us.

I tend to think of these as three overlapping circles, spiraling inward over time toward the middle. The inner life is the place where these three are honestly examined in the presence of God. Each take time and intentional investment, which means they are all predicated on slowing down and finding the space to reflect. This was a discipline that even Jesus, though he was perfect, did not neglect. How much more important will it be for us? Steal some time from your external life this month to build that internal castle with God.

In Our Own Words - Brian Sanders

Last month while I was in the Philippines for a historic gathering of the Manila Underground, I had an odd realization during the worship time. Some of the songs were in Tagalog (the primary language of the Philippines) but every other song or so was in English - usually a Hillsong standard or something else I recognized. That was fine, nice even, to think that people all over the world can relate and agree on the lyrics and feel of a song that seems to say what they are feeling or what they believe about God. But during one song in particular, I couldn’t help but be bothered by the irony - and frankly the inaccuracy - of a certain lyric. It was the final line of the bridge that made me cock my head and squint one eye…

“To the far ends of earth we go, Your love story must be told, We will not live in comfort anymore.”

It occurs to me that a line like that, when sung by middle and upper class Australian Christians is not only meaningful, it is also needed. It expresses a genuine desire to resist and even forsake the comfort of their middle class existence - but as I looked around this room, it was just wrong. These were not people who needed to confess and turn away from living in comfort. This was a gathering of the poorest in the earth. They were repenting for someone else’s sin. They didn’t need to commit to forsake comfort they needed to ask God for it. If anything, their truest songs would embody the opposite sentiment, more like Israel’s in exile:

“Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.” Or, “Burst into songs of joy together, you ruins of Jerusalem, for the LORD has comforted his people, he has redeemed Jerusalem.” (Isa. 49:13, 52:9)

It was a poignant reminder that the words of our worship must be our own, and if we borrow them, then we must feel the same convictions that the writer felt.

Shortly after that trip, I took another to attend a gathering of apostolic leaders and churches in the United States. I returned a little disappointed to find that we are actually farther along a certain path than we realize. I was disappointed because we are looking for peers - even mentors - in what we are doing only to discover some of what we are attempting is truly new. So, I am more and more aware of the uniqueness of our community. For more reasons that I can list here, I believe that our little network has a special place in the body of Jesus, and for that reason we have to start looking for the words to describe it. In music, in liturgy, in curriculum, in story telling; we need to find our own words for our own experience that will lead our own community.

I have since challenged our musicians to step out and try to write music that comes from the rich soil of the UNDERGROUND. It may take them some time before they learn to really express it, but I think we will all be lead deeper into the presence of God by art that comes from our own people. Likewise, I am leading a writer’s workshop next week for our people who have the urge to write. I want to stir us all up, to codify, chronicle, and even herald our work. Not because we are better than other communities or other times in church history, but because we love what God is doing in us and in our time. We carry a kind of false humility that says I am not important enough or gifted enough to write or publish, but those motivations are the wrong ones.

I believe we should write and create for God, as a tribute to him, and for our own people. Not for the world at large or for recognition but because we worship God when we take the time to remember and record the work of his hand. He is doing profound and beautiful things in our midst; I want to take the time to memorialize it.

I am asking for us to recreate his work in us, in our own words, with our own voice, and with the heart that he has given us. Pray with me for the artists in our midst to rise up and lead us.

Nine Ways to Wake Up Your Heart - Brian Sanders

Dry spells, spiritual funk, apathy, dark nights of the soul, all of us will go through periods of feeling distant from God, even wondering if he is there at all, or worse, wondering if we even care. My advice when going through a desert season is first to remember that God does not change even when you do. He is not afraid of your doubts or your indifference. He loves you because of what Jesus has done for you; never did he love you because of your spiritual sharpness. Still, these dry times, while they do not change God, they do affect us, and even more they tend to take us off course from the direction of our lives. Often, the greatest casualty of these heartless times is the people we don’t reach, love or serve. Perhaps the defining commonality of these times we have is self-centeredness. When we lose God we lose the will to love, the strength for true sacrifice. People will worry about you in these times, but maybe for the wrong reasons. The real tragedy is that your life no longer points toward Jesus.

One of my favorite movies is Good Will Hunting, and one of my favorite scenes in that movie is when Will’s best friend Chucky is challenging him not to waste his life and his genius by underachieving in the old neighborhood. Will says something like “I know, I know, I owe it to myself…” And Chucky replies (something like), “Forget you, you don’t owe it to yourself, you owe it to me; because I would do anything to have what you got. It would be an insult to us if you’re still here in 20 years.”

It is not so much that you owe it to yourself to get your heart right again; it is that you owe it to the rest of us, particularly the people who have never heard that Jesus loves them. People that are alone in their own mental universe and unlike us, impossibly lost without God. We owe it to them to do what we can to awaken our souls and our hearts to remember the truth about God’s lavish grace and calling on our lives.

Some years ago, I wrote this list of 9 things you can do to change your heart. If you find yourself in a dark, dry or apathetic state, but wish you weren’t; give these 9 things a try.

(In no particular order)

  1. Find a rhythm. Spiritual life is like dancing with a partner, it requires rhythm. Without it, it can be ugly but with it the dance can be both fun and beautiful. The rhythm that the Bible offers is 6 to 1. That is, we work for six days and then stop to contemplate the work of God. To rest from our labor does not mean sleeping (although that may be a part of it) it means taking time to stop what we are doing so we can appreciate what he is doing. Try praying every 6 hours. Many monastic movements like the Trappists would pray through 4 prayer watches (every 6 hours), you could do the same thing, set a clock to go pray every 6 hours and let your heart return to God.

  2. Take a prayer retreat. Spiritual retreats have been a part of Christian tradition for almost 2000 years. Jesus himself made a retreat into the desert (lead by the Holy Spirit in fact). Try to take a two-day period to get away for prayer and solitude. This is not a vacation but it should be time set aside for hearing God and being restored by him.

  3. Keep a 30-day journal. Take a month and look for God each day, for the ways he is teaching you and setting you up and for the ways that the kingdom is unfolding before you. Then, jot down what you see each day. Even if you do not like to write you will find that reflection and the simple discipline of remembering will help you see how deeply God is involved in your life.

  4. Look for God in something new. At work or at play, in all the places we do not listen for him; begin a conscious effort to try and see your everyday world a little differently and to hear his voice in those circumstances. Let the boundaries of your compartmentalized life begin to blur—just let it happen. Surprise yourself. Invite a colleague who you barely know over for dinner. Take one of your kids to work with you. Pray for fresh insight into your life, God’s view of what you find ordinary. Stand on your desk, take a ride in the back seat of your car, watch the sunset from your rooftop, if you wear briefs, wear boxers one day; vary your routine in hopes of awakening your soul and improving your hearing.

  5. Share your faith. Strike up a spiritual conversation with a family member, co-worker or neighbor. Try the direct approach. “What do you think about God?” And see if your own faith is not awakened as you talk.

  6. Fast. Take a break from something good, something that you have a right to and that you really like. It does not have to be food. Be creative. The point is not to deprive yourself for depravity’s sake but it is to say no to something good to remind your soul that you want something better. Food is good but God is better. I would suggest fasting from something for a month, something you will notice when it is gone (maybe coffee, or TV or sarcasm, etc.)

  7. Love a stranger. Just meet someone and share yourself with them. Try to give them the better gifts of time, relationship and Jesus.

  8. Read one book of the Bible. After you have read it, try to find one thing to put into practice, and then not only do it but also try to convince everyone you know to do it with you.

  9. Affirm someone. Take some time to really make a list of some of the best qualities of a friend or family member and then just blow them away with your sincere and clear appraisal of them at their best.

The Sword and the Warrior - Jon Mark Price

As we consider the concept of humbleness, we often find ourselves caught between being humble, and despairing in light of the perfection of God and our failure to measure up to the call of Christ. To help us understand the balance and our place in Gods Kingdom, here is a short parable.

You see yourself taking on the world, the enemy, and all of life’s challenges and temptations as a warrior, and you bravely take up our sword and charge forward into the swarm of the oncoming army. You slash, fight and struggle as you take hit after hit. Covered with wounds, you stagger back to your fortress, falling on the ground, gasping for breath, choking back tears, shamed by your failure.

Then it gets worse. Just as you find the strength to stand, the king approaches. Bloodied, beaten and ashamed, you can’t even meet the king’s gaze.

“I can’t beat them." you say.

“I know.” the King replies.

You look up and see that the king is dressed for battle. Surprised, you ask: “You’re coming?”

The king smiles and takes your hand, saying “I’ll do more than that - I’ll carry you."

At this moment, your perspective is drastically altered. You see that you're not a wounded warrior, but a battered sword now in the king’s hands. He cleans you off and sharpens your blade. As he opens the gate and charges, his enemies flee before him.

The enemy does not fear you, but the one who caries you.

On our own, sooner or later, we will fail. We can never measure up to the standard God calls us to - but God knows that. What’s more, he calls us to humble ourselves and admit our weakness, and be a tool in the hands of the master. If we give God control and make ourselves nothing, we will realize that through God we have already won.

Jesus and Politics - Brian Sanders

It is remarkable (and at times almost comical) how God has timed the reading of certain texts we study in Crucible in serendipitous and prophetic overlap with realtime current events. Who can forget the year that Mother’s Day Sunday fell to the text “you should hate your mother…”? This last week, one week before the Republican National Convention invades our town, and just weeks away from the next presidential election, we found ourselves wrestling with the Political Caesar text in Mark 12. Poetic irony and prophetic timing forced us to talk about politics (something we rarely talk about) at a time when it is most volatile. I have to admit, it is a little intimidating to wade into that subject given that I am not a political scientist and that people can be so dogmatic about their political views. It is a hard subject to address, to be sure. Still, if that is where the text leads us, I have a responsibility to try and teach the Scriptures as faithfully as I can, especially when it challenges our prevailing biases. If you didn’t get a chance to catch that talk, you can listen to it here.

This experience last week got me thinking, and remembering the last presidential election. I think that was the last time I explicitly talked about politics and our response to the political dilemmas we are faced with, because that was the last time the text took us there. I looked back and was amazed (to use my grandmother’s phrase, I was tickled) to discover that the text that day, August 10, 2008, was Luke 20, the Political Caesar passage. We don’t plan for this kind of serendipity, it is the elegant sovereignty of God that works in ways we cannot see and rarely understand. Anyway, since we are not meeting this Sunday for Crucible I thought I would give you that old message, which I think might actually be better, since it covers the context of the story even better than I did this past Sunday, and goes a little more in depth on the subject of Jesus and Politics. So, if you want to listen to a throwback, check it out.

And maybe you can go ahead and mark your calendars; we will likely come on this passage again four years from now.

Face Us - Jon Dengler

There are many in our city that have no clean clothes, no bathroom that they can use and no bed to lay down in at night. They often struggle to find food or a few dollars to spend. Beyond any of these challenges though, one of the worst things a human can experience is isolation and rejection. When these folks look at you they see a possible friend or help but too often you see something that makes you uncomfortable. You are sometimes afraid and avoid their glances. Maybe they are aggressive but our real fear is usually that they will open their hands to us and say ’please’. Our city officials take our discomfort seriously and so employ officers to shoo them off. We pass laws that make it a crime to go to the bathroom outside, sleep in a park or ask for help on the side of the road which all become necessities when you have nowhere else to go. We, as a society, do not want to face them.

Many who come to eat with us on Thursday nights at The Banquet have expressed to me how this feeling of rejection has been growing over the last few months as the RNC approaches. Our city has been ‘cleaning up’ and doing everything they can to put their best foot forward as the nation, even the world, turns its attention here. As people talked to me about feeling like the city ‘was trying to make them invisible’ I longed to stand with them and make their plight visible.

One night at The Banquet I showed a video about a street artist who has been traveling the world posting pictures of people as a statement. He has gone into Israel and Palestine and posted pictures of Israelis and Palestinians of the same profession on both sides of the dividing wall. He went into a favela in Brazil where many women had been killed and posted the faces of women from the community all over. This artist has been making waves all over the world with pictures of people’s faces and has recently started The Inside-Out Project which makes his technique available to everyone. After we watched the video I asked people if they would be interested in doing something similar here. Do you want to be visible I asked? We can do this here. People got excited about the idea and so we had Drew Coffman come in one night to take portraits of people that wanted to participate. We decided to name this project ‘Face Us’ because it seemed that was exactly the thing that nobody wanted to or would do. They are saying we exist, we are human beings, we are created in the image of God, we will not be erased. Face us!

We decided to post the pictures right before the RNC because it was such a catalyst to the pressure folks were feeling to move along. It was such a privilege to help this community make a statement like this and I pray others will see what I see in their faces, the image of the invisible God.

The Truth About Poverty - Mac Bailey

To reflect upon the experience I have had feeding the homeless for almost three years is a difficult task. The epoch began with a with a hardened heart and a lack of sympathy. It began through relationships, heartbreak, and great joy. I am glad to say that my life had truly been changed. In feeding the homeless, my eyes have been opened to the truth about poverty in this country, my approach to life has been transformed completely, and God has directed me on a completely different life path.

The thing about feeding the homeless that started the train which wrecked my life is how it opened my eyes to see poverty in its true form. I came to the cold hard truth that poverty in this country is just as evil as it is in every other country. Although the United States may boast equal opportunity and freedom for all, these rights belong to the privileged few. To be honest, when I first started feeding it was nothing more than a service project with no more purpose than to give a few hours to the nameless hobos who dirtied our streets. All it took was one conversation with one man to take the first swing at the wall of ignorance I had built which kept my sympathy for the homeless hidden. That hit, combined with all the other conversations, brought that wall tumbling down. Perhaps the hardest thing to grasp was the fact that the privileged few, which I am a part, plays a major role in keeping the homeless where they are: restricted, de-humanized, and poor. The simple truth is that poverty is evil, and that it grieves the heart of God.

After my eyes were opened and my life was wrecked, God set about rebuilding it. He started with my heart and my approach towards life. The old sense of entitlement I once displayed for all to see was thrown to the flames, and humility took its place as the new centerpiece of my life. With humility came gratefulness and servanthood. I now strive for a heart full of the Holy Spirit, and a life like that of Jesus. This renovation was fueled by the forming of long lasting relationships with those whom I fed. With these people I was able to experience the pain brought on by loneliness and degradation, yet I was also able to experience the joy and hope brought only by Jesus. I now see Him in the poor everywhere I go - I realize now that only after modeling my life in the image of Jesus am I able to see Him among the poor, whom he calls me to serve. When my approach towards life changed, so did the calling God gave me.

Before I started feeding the homeless, my life was without direction except the dream of riches. Now I have a complete devotion to the fight against injustice. After witnessing the crime of poverty in the wealthiest country on Earth I cannot ignore the calling God has given me. My time among the homeless in Tampa has cultivated a spiritual life in me that I pray will continue to grow, so that I may be a light in a dark world. I will never forget that the thing which started this transformation was feeding the homeless.

Underground Moms - Brook Maturo

One of the things I love about the Underground is the high-commitment culture. After each microchurch meeting and each Crucible gathering, I leave wanting to do something radical for the Kingdom.

But there are days where that feeling drives me to frustration rather than a joyful place of serving Jesus. Much of this is related to the fact that I am a mom, which takes a majority of my time and energy. I don’t say this to complain at all – I am thankful for my family and I am confident in my place as a mother and wife. It’s just that the inspiration of a Crucible message or an amazing Bible study in the gospels is often met by the reality of little people needing to be fed, bathrooms needing to be cleaned, clutter to be battled and a dozen little things that don’t feel like Kingdom work. I start to feel a creeping guilt that I’m not living radically or faithfully enough.

So when I add to that a call to pour out more of my life, give more up for Jesus and take bigger steps of faith, the dissonance between what I perceive the call Jesus makes and the reality of my life can feel frustrating. I don’t lead a microchurch with a cool name. I don’t have stories of adventure to relay beyond the broken washing machine this week. I feel accomplished when I remember the names of my new neighbors to pray for them, much less be having great Bible studies with the unreached. I haven’t been out of the country in 8 years. All this makes me question my dedication to God and commitment to His purposes. It’s easy to look back a pre-family years and long for that flexibility to take crazy risks and pour myself for people all the time.

But there are three truths I so easily forget – first mothering young children is one of many seasons in life. When our kids are little, especially infants and toddlers, it’s easy to feel up to your elbows in diapers, spit up and wipes. It may seem like it will last forever. As they grow and require more relational time and discipleship, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the responsibility to help them form good character and love God. Yet neither of those seasons lasts. I constantly need to remind myself that I only get these sweet ones in my home for a fraction of my lifetime and then they will be gone. Not only will I miss them, but I will still have years to live radically. I recently attended the dedication of some homes that were part of an organization my grandmother started that enables the working poor to use sweat equity as a down payment and own a home. Over 500 homes have been built through this organization. It was her retirement project. Just because I can’t do something now doesn’t mean I never will.

Second, while what I am doing doesn’t seem important the reality is that it is of great importance on many levels. Working on having a clean and healthy home, a strong marriage and kids that have a good foundation in loving God and others is radical these days. We certainly don’t have a perfect family, but it could be a light and nurturing example in our neighborhood full of people from broken homes looking for a family. This is kingdom work. It doesn’t seem as glamorous as other things. Honestly, it takes just as much prayer, work and vision as leading a microchurch.

And in reality, my kids too are the little ones. If I was off doing something “more radical” than laying my life down for them, the Kingdom would be lessened. Another load of laundry might not feel like it, but this is all part of a bigger tapestry God is weaving. He has purposes for these children I may never see. While I take risks in the ways I am able and God leads, the Kingdom will be built.

I remember an Intervarsity chapter meeting I attended while Dave was still on staff and I recently had our second child. During worship, someone said something about experiencing God’s grace. I had often experienced God’s grace in ministry – praying with a student, counseling, sharing the gospel, travelling overseas, uninterrupted worship and prayer. I actually said in my heart to God that I didn’t know if I could experience that grace now that I was so busy with the kids. I felt His answer back to me that it was precisely through my kids, because of their role in my life, that I would experience God’s grace. Not despite their distractions, but because of the ways He would use them in my life and in the lives of others.

This, perhaps, is the greatest gift motherhood has given - the freedom from having to achieve for God and to be able to see His grace in my failings as a parent and my limited time and energy. And when I face Him and account for my life, he isn’t going to ask what nonprofit I started or how many Bible studies I led, but what I did to share His grace with the little ones he gave me – within my own family as well as out in the lost world. I long to hear that “well done”.

Life After Church (Excerpt) - Brian Sanders

An Excerpt from "Life After Church", an Underground Media book

Human history has not been kind to prophets, to those who propose widespread change. Even the term has become synonymous with a negative message. But it should not be so. Change implies error and imperfection and although we all know that we are imperfect and need to change we just do not like to be reminded. Even if the prophet brings a message about the surpassing love of God for us and our misunderstanding of that love, we still rail against being told to wake up, to remember or to change.

As the first Christian martyr Stephen understood we always resist the prophets in our midst because they question our comfortable lives and they challenge the status quo. History is littered with great people who have been persecuted and killed for advocating change and criticizing the way things are. However, everyone who criticizes is not a prophet. Prophetic and critical are far from being the same thing. Before we talk about change and how to affect it, it seems prudent to explore that distinction.

Being a Prophet

The prophet’s message comes from God, is tested by God’s word and is communicated in love. A survey of old and New Testament prophets reveals that they are mostly calling for the same things. Repentance, turning away from idols, doing justice, taking care of the poor, etc. There really are not that many themes to prophecy. One way you can know if what you are feeling or saying is prophetic is to measure it by the history of prophesy. Are you called to be a prophet.? Probably not.

While some are called to this role they must also pay the price. The life of a true prophet can be a life of isolation, loneliness and pain. The life of a false prophet is not that different but it carries with it futility and self-delusion. Figuring out which kind you are is not something I am prepared to address for the simple reason that I doubt you are called even to operate in this office. Very few of us are called to tear down systems. Some are. But being that kind of person will need to be something that you discover from a deeply real conversation with God. It is not something you can get from a book. So for everyone else, there is a less arduous route to smaller but significant change.

Being Prophetic

We are all, on the other hand, called to live a prophetic life. In the same way that each of us is called to share the gospel, or speak up for the weak, to live the life of an activist or an evangelist we are called to be a prophetic. There is a mystique surrounding the word that has only served to alienate everyday believers from what should be an accessible, albeit supernatural, expression of our very real connection to God. I am not interested in treating prophesy as something that only a few people can do or reducing it to prognostications about the future. Prophesy in its most understandable form is just speaking for God. Every time we share Scripture with a friend we are prophesying. We are repeating the words of God. On that level, even non-believers are capable of prophesy.

On another level, we might read another very specific scripture to a friend at just the right time and in just the right way. This too is prophecy but at an even more acute level. And occasionally we will even share a thought or impression that is Biblical, in that it is consistent with the Bible, but original in its construction and context. This too, can be prophesy and can be a way that God speaks to and through his people. I am convinced that prophetic words should be a part of everyday Christianity. In humility, acknowledging always that we could be wrong, we should be prophesying to each other with regularity. Having said that, it also has to be clear that the error of false prophesy is also possible. But it is not a reason not avoid attempting to discern the voice of God for the circumstances we find ourselves in.

For as long as I have done ministry I have prayed one very simple prayer. God, please do not let my sins be held against the people I serve. I think I have always had an unresolved fear that my pride or selfish ambition related to the success of whatever ministry I was doing would be so egregious that God would have no choice but to hold back success from the endeavor. Maybe no one would know why, but in the end it would be God saying, “I can not bless this thing Brian because you are already too proud and only failure will save you.” While I do not rule that out on a personal level, I think that God has shown me over the years that he will bless what is submitted to him because he loves all involved. And perhaps more importantly because there is a world to be reached, a world who needs to hear and he will even use broken vessels because his motivation is so strong. God is not going to silence his voice because we have misspoken. He is eager to be heard and like other kinds of failure false prophesy is forgivable. But like all sin it is to be militantly feared and reviled in ourselves but treated with grace and understanding in others. Just as I cannot let the fear of pride keep me from attempting great deeds for God so our fear of false prophesy cannot keep us from trying to hear and represent the voice of God in the world. The testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of prophesy and presenting the gospel itself is the quintessential prophetic utterance.

Life After Church is available for purchase at Amazon.com

Questioning Goodness - Jon Dengler

Many people will point to evil, pain, and suffering in an effort to discredit the reality and the goodness of God. I have personally wrestled with this as well, and have found what is called theodicy to be one of the most difficult and most important questions of our faith. Theodicy is most commonly laid out with four basic premises:
1. God is Good
2. God is omniscient
3. God is omnipotent
4. Evil exists

The basic argument would be that any three of these can be true at the same time, but not all four. For example, maybe God is Good and wants to end evil and knows what it would take, but is not powerful enough to do it and therefore evil exists. Or perhaps He is powerful enough, but doesn’t know what to do. Or maybe he just isn’t good. Evil existing is the only premise that is always considered true because, well, because it is true. It is the only truth listed that we can fully acknowledge about existence. It is an existential reality.

This, for me, became the most solid ground to start building on in my own theological journey. We may not know what we think about God, or love, or eternity, but we know sin and pain and suffering and loss and death. We know it in a deeper way than most of our knowledge. We know it existentially. Not only do we all know these things, but we all have a problem with them. Throughout the world, in many different cultures, we still mourn over death, condemn stealing, and forbid murder. We agree at some base level that it is wrong. This is evidence of a moral law - there seems to be some standard that exists within all of humanity that gives us the ability to recognize or call something evil, wrong or bad. This law implies a lawgiver. If there is no lawgiver then there is no law. If there is no law, then there is no evil to be upset about and our very question of theodicy seems to negate itself.

Theodicy, in my mind, is evidence of a good God. The very fact that we questions God's goodness is a testimony to His goodness. We were created in His image, and God also has a problem with evil in this world. It isn’t that he doesn’t know what to do about it, or that he is not powerful enough. We, the church, are God's answer to evil and suffering in this world. He has chosen to give us both the freedom to destroy the world and the option to participate with Him in redeeming it. He has called us to be his hands that are healing and transforming this world. We are the answer to theodicy. God is good, omniscient, omnipotent, evil exists, and God is working through his people to bring about His will in this world. God's theory of change takes a long view and he is building a sustainable kingdom.

The major problem with this is not that God is not good but that so many of his people are not. Those who call themselves Christians and claim to be the church are holding so many resources and tying them up in buildings and youth programs while 30,000 children die each day from hunger and malnutrition. We actually do have the resources to do something about it and Jesus - the one we call Lord - has explicitly told us that we will be judged by how we respond to hunger and sickness. We have been told what to do and therefore know, we have the resources and therefore have the ability and evil exists. My question is whether we are any good.

God help us. If we are going to be the Church that you have called us to be and bring about the kingdom that you have described then we desperately need you to grip our hearts. May the reality of evil grip our hearts, not in such a way that we question you but that we would change everything about the ways that we are living.

Pastor Brian? - Brian Sanders

"Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body..."
- 1 Corinthians 12:12-13

I recently heard about a couple who had decided to leave the Underground community. I don’t think I knew them personally since the story was relayed to me by one of our microchurch leaders and no names were given. Their stated reason for leaving was important and something that deserves a response. They said they just couldn't come to a church where the pastor was not personally involved in their lives, not personally investing in them. They were of course talking about me. I am sure there is more to the story than that, but their critique, in particular, is worth considering. So, I wanted to take a minute to write a word, not of rebuttal, but of whole hearted agreement with that criticism and even the heart behind it.

The office of pastor is one of the five critical gifts/callings that Jesus gives to his church so that it can reach maturity and its full potential (Ephesians 4:11-13). We all need pastors, just as we need apostles, prophets, evangelists and teachers. Pastors in particular lead us uniquely through nurture and care. Pastors need to be involved in our personal lives, know us as individuals, walk with us through our pain and questions and celebrate with us through our landmarks and victories. A community like the Underground needs a hundred pastors. I think I believe that more profoundly and more sincerely than most church leaders do. I believe it so deeply that I have labored to create a community where the church is small enough so that everyone does have a pastor in their lives. God knows we need a hundred pastors, which is why he has actually given us so many.

The irony of our departing couple’s story is that they shared their frustration with their actual pastor; a spiritual leader who was in their lives and who had loved them, and was there for them in just such a moment. It is not that I don’t want the title of Pastor, it is that it is not accurate. And when we persist in applying that old paradigm to our community, putting our new wine in old wineskins, we end up pointlessly disappointed. The real spiritual leadership, the authority that God has actually given to the dozens of pastoral leaders in our movement is devalued and even dismissed when I am regarded as the Pastor of the Underground. I never want to abdicate my responsibility to be a good leader and shepherd to our community; and I know better than most the ways I constantly fall short in that task, but it is precisely because I think that every Christian needs access to a pastoral leader that I refuse to take that role, or be called by that title. If I am the pastor how will I care for the 1,500 people involved in the Underground community? Isn't calling someone in my position by that title a betrayal of what the title actually means?

I love you all enough to entrust you to the true pastors, the microchurch leaders and elders in our communities to marry, baptize and counsel. And I will certainly be a pastor to the elders themselves, and to my microchurch and intentional community, but my role is primarily apostolic. God has called me to send and inspire, to lead, teach and oversee the whole community and its leaders. The desire to have the actual person in spiritual authority over you, know you, and personally care for you is so right on, I just had to agree publicly with it. I say with all my heart, AMEN. You all need that. You all deserve that.

Yet, I have to keep leading us to break out of the misapplied expectations of a church structure that has not worked. The traditional model has not reached or transformed our cities. And that is not the fault of the message we carry, or the God who sends us, it is the fault of the systems we confine him in. The priesthood of all believers is a sacred tenet of the protestant reformation, yet it still remains largely untried in our context.

We are trying. If you are with me, let's honor the myriad of Holy Spirit inspired and gifted leaders in our movement, of which I am only one. Let’s remember and celebrate our leaders whom God has given us by giving them the honor that we once only reserved for the person behind the pulpit. If we each do the task appointed to us, and give honor for each member, we will see just what the body of Jesus can do in a world that needs him.

Summer Crucible Change - Brian Sanders

Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it.
- Hebrews 4:1

Although free from the burden of the law, the Spirit leads us back to the heart of the law which contains principles that give life, that were not meant to be a legalistic burden but a life giving practice. Rest is like that. We were created by God to work. To work hard and to create in a way that glorifies the creator God.

It is our practice in the Underground to not only preserve a weekly Sabbath but also a break in the summer. We run more classes in our summer institute in order to provide our missionaries with time for reflection and personal development. If you lead or are a part of year round ministry I really recommend you find a way to take at least some kind of break. This summer rhythm, in addition to restoring us personally, also creates a healthy dynamic for our ministry. It gives us a clear end to the year (for celebration) and a clear beginning (for re-commitment).

It is in this spirit that we are moving Crucible to one service time this summer (from June to the middle of August). Our Crucible team works so hard every week to provide our wider community with two service times, I am eager for them to have a respite from that work. Some Sundays it may be a little crowded in the Cuban Club but we have the advantage of being in a slightly larger space than the Hub so for the summer this should work.

So - starting this Sunday (June 2) we are moving Crucible to 10am only. Please help me get the word out. And make room for each other. It will be fun to be back together in one room, even if it is snug, let’s enjoy it.

Spiritual Orphans - Floyd McClung

There is a great need in the church: A need for people who are morally pure. A need for people to rethink and reshape what they believe and practice on kingdom principles. A need for people who are passionate to spend time with Jesus. A need for people who know how to disciple others - and do it! A need for people who take initiative to share the gospel - and go for it! A need for people who are not spiritual orphans…who know where they belong, who are faithful, and who are fruitful.

Churches are filled with spiritual orphans. A spiritual orphan is a Jesus follower who doesn’t belong to a church family with a spiritual father or mother to disciple them. Spiritual orphans become independent, they carry a rejection spirit, they are spiritually isolated, they don’t know how to father or mother others, they bounce from one spiritual family to another.

Spiritual orphans run to other orphans to find out who they are, reinforcing in one another the worst traits of emotionally and spiritually disconnected people.

How do you get people free from spiritual orphanhood? You invite them relationally to move. To move away from distant discipling, perhaps by a Christian celebrity through their books or music. The danger with distant discipling is that it’s not up close & real, it's haphazard and produces isolation, independence, super-spirituality, blind spots, lack of accountability and genuine community. These people must also move away from occasional discipling - the inconsistent hit and miss kind of discipleship. The danger with occasional discipling is that it’s too infrequent. With different people you get different foundations, and selective accountability. A positive move is to intentional discipling in a church family, with clear goals for personal growth, accountability, spiritual depth, the ability to be open to others in the body of Christ, strong foundations, and a reproduction of fruit naturally.

There are right and wrong questions to ask about your church. Wrong questions include "How can I get people to be more faithful to my church?" "How can I grow my church bigger?" "How can I get people to volunteer and be faithful?" "How big is your church?"

One must remember that discipleship in a local church is not a program for church growth.

Inversely, right questions include "How can I disciple people to Christ?" "What is the process for building foundations and freedom in people’s lives?" "How can we disciple people to make disciples in the harvest, who disciple others also?"

What you measure in your church determines what you build in your church. Do you measure “disciples who obey” or “people who attend”? Do you disciple people to Christ or to your church? Discipleship defined is intentional relationship. There needs to be a clearly defined process for discipling your people - one that is simple and reproducible. Don’t put pressure on yourself to disciple everyone, just those who want to be discipled. In every congregation there are crowds, curious, and the committed. Focus on the committed while you keep challenging the curious and inviting the crowds to more.

Give 80% of your time to the 20% who are most serious about obeying and reproducing. Most pastors do the opposite, and burn out because of it. They give 80% of their time and energy to the 20% who are least serious and most noisy and demanding.